Where I’m Going

I’ll keep this brief. I have a lot of things happening in my personal life, some bad, some good. I’m in a soul-crushing job that I am actively trying to leave. But at the same time, I’m attempting to start a novel and possibly a book of poetry, I want to run my own company, do a podcast and get my personal training certification. So this is my way of saying that my posts here will be more sporadic for the time being. I’d like to take everyone behind the curtain with those good things going on, but until I can free up my mind and time with my main source of income, I have to prioritize the things that I need to. I’ll still post, even poetry and random articles, but I really want to develop my life in positive, tangible ways. I’d love it for everyone to come along with me when the time is right because I believe I’m here to change the world for the better. So stay tuned, be well, and love each other. We need more of that.

The View

I rearranged my apartment this week in a burst of spring cleaning initiative and my general unease with stagnation. I’ve lived in this apartment for 10 months, but my mind believes it to be longer. I’m a nomad at heart.

I knew when I began shifting furniture that I wanted to invite more creativity into the space. After all, my writing place was in the kitchen. I have four rooms in my apartment: the bedroom, the bathroom, the living room, and the kitchen, with a small dining space attached.

The small dining space was my writing space. It was faced toward the wall, artificial light pouring down on me, and a mound of dirty dishes in the background. It was a muse black hole, but it’s where I was getting my writing done.

So where was I going to move my writing space? I wanted to see nature, so I knew it should be at one of my windows. I had four eligible windows in my space. One overlooks my apartments parking space, and two others face the parking lot of the complex next door. Facing the busy street it was then.

At first, I loved it. It was the window with the best light, the sun doesn’t set on this side of the building, which meant I won’t be blinded by it. But as my view expanded, The cars became a distraction. As I said, it’s a fairly busy street. And it’s a direct route to the busiest bar area in the city, so even at night, there are constantly cars going back and forth below my perch.

This surely couldn’t work out. I couldn’t focus on my writing with all the traffic constantly pulling my attention away. But my view expanded one more time. To just beyond the window sill with the perfect lighting, beyond the street and sidewalks below with the bustling vehicles. In that picture above, if you look past the black metal fence and the trees, is the cemetery.

When I first moved to this apartment, the idea of living across from a cemetery didn’t bother me. Cemeteries have never been the place of spooky lore and undead for me, so I was content. However, I didn’t know that it would inspire me so much. And reawaken my muse.

The thing that helped spark that rebirth was the constant reminder of the inevitable: death. It’s coming for everyone, and we have to make the most of our opportunities. We can’t wait to make moves because someday, there won’t be any moves to make.

I want to start that novel, that podcast and take care of myself now. Regret is poison, but you don’t experience it until it’s too late. Make sure it isn’t too late.

Swing

 

Blooming

There is no such thing as rock bottom.

You only go deeper into the earth, 

Burrowing further into the dark.

But that is where growth can occur.

The deeper your bulb, the deeper your roots.

You push past everything that put you there.

Every mistake and harmful experience,

Left behind as you strive for fresh air.

The sky above you, freedom.

You’re blooming, beautiful colors.

~

Photo by Matthew Smith on Unsplash

Vulnerable

It’s a tricky word.

Something we try to avoid

but that we all are.

Our lives, our interests,

our secrets, our passions,

safely guarded against judgment.

 

What frightens us?

We are all strange.

We are all unique.

So why do we judge?

Are we so full of self-loathing

that we lash out at others?

In defense of what…ourself?

 

Embrace the strange, the weird.

Be younique.

Be vulnerable.

In vulnerability, there is understanding.

There is clarity, a lack of judgment.

But mostly, there is you.

~

Photo by Jonas Verstuyft on Unsplash

Raw Writers Wanted

I’m noticing something on Medium. And it’s not egregious. It’s not even necessarily a bad thing. But it’s something that doesn’t resonate with me.
 
Medium is a beautiful place that gives voice to anyone. It’s given me a platform to express myself and it has changed my life for the better.
 
That being said, I’m noticing that a lot of people have started to conform their writing to fit into the status quo. I read an article today that was talking about how people who stand out in life don’t conform to society. They blaze their own path and go out of their way to find the unique moments in our lives and turn it into something magical.
 
And I agree with every bit of that. The problem was the way it was written. It came across as very disingenuous and was full of sentences that were saying the same thing in different ways.
 
Before I go further, I want to confess my own sins. I know that I have been guilty of all those things. And I’m not here to be the Medium police or get bent out of shape about someone else’s writing.
 
And all of us are here for different reasons. Some are here primarily to consume. Some are here to gain a following and “make it” as a writer. Some are here to purge thoughts and express themselves in ways that we never felt we could. And none are wrong.
 
So, it really comes down to what you’re here for. If you are here for free, quick self-help guides and people who haven’t figured their own shit out telling you how to get YOUR shit together, perfect. That is a sizable portion of the posts that I come across and good on you. I’ve spent plenty of time reading those same articles.
 
But if you’re here for something that speaks to you. Something that moves you, presses all your right buttons, and takes you in beyond words, well, that’s different. I’m not saying that doesn’t exist on Medium. On the contrary, I’ve found some beautiful, amazing writers on here that I would have never known existed before. That’s the best part about Medium.
 
But these writers typically aren’t pushed in the same way. I’m not sure if it’s the algorithm or maybe I just read so many of the “Top 5 Ways to…” articles at first that I continue to have them pushed into my inbox every morning. Either way, I want more.
 
I want more voice given to writers who word vomit onto the screen. I want more writers who throw things against the wall, hoping something sticks. Writers who write about what moves THEM, in the hopes that they can move someone else. Those articles are where the truth lies.
~